Recent mentions of double demerit points ( which, thankfully, we are not yet subjected to in Victoria) got me thinking about some other penalties which I think ought apply in certain situations. Specifically, I'm talking riders. Their various conduct at times gives me a powerful urge to tee their heads off with a 3-wood. I say enough is enough. There needs to be a punitive system in place to adequately punish, rehabilitate, and educate riders, as there is for road-users. I'm thinking of a penalty surge system, and as such, propose the following, as a start: 1. Failing to undertake an adequate grooming or hygiene regimen, resulting in offensive body odours, arse-breath, or any other discomfort-inducing stinks of any kind: Minor - 3x penalty surge Moderate - 6x penalty surge Severe - death by 3-wood 2. Phoning the driver for anything but to provide the most critical of information, without which the driver not only could not have possibly completed the pick-up, but may not have even survived the day: 3x penalty surge 3. Phoning the driver, and asking anything bearing even the slightest resemblance to any of the following: “Where are you?” or “Are you coming to pick me up?” or “How far away are you?” 15x penalty surge 4. Phoning the driver whilst the rider app clearly notes that the driver IS COMPLETING ANOTHER TRIP!!! 15x penalty surge 5. Immediately re-dialling the driver when, on account of still being on a trip, he/she rejects the first call: 20x penalty surge 6. Failing to not be a greedy, self-entitled twat, and asking for water: 3x penalty surge 7. Failing to not be a greedy, self-entitled twat, and asking for water when on a short trip: 6x penalty surge 8. Exhibiting absurd degrees of laziness, and waiting longer for the driver to arrive than it would have taken any person sporting at least one functioning leg to walk the actual trip: 5x penalty surge 9. Failing to take adequate care of personal effects, and leaving one or more items in the driver's vehicle: 5x penalty surge 10. Having infringed as per rule 9, subsequently placing all onus for the return of said items, in addition to the associated costs incurred therein, on the driver: 20x penalty surge 11. Failing to undertake the simple yet not insignificant measure, fundamentally crucial to the successful completion of a pick-up, of entering the correct fucking address: 15x penalty surge 12. Exhibiting Guiness-World-Record ignorance and stupidity levels and, for the entire duration of a trip, despite both its visual and audible prominence in the vehicle, failing to see, hear, or by any other means notice, that Google Maps is providing perfectly satisfactory navigation, and in turn feeling the need to point, gesticulate, and by various other means, give directions entirely consistent with those provided by Google: 10x penalty surge That's a start. Feel free to add to the list!
Okay how about these: 32x : Being too impatient and cancelling the request as I am approaching, only to then get into my vehicle when I arrive and then have the audacity to say nothing until I bring up that I cannot start the trip because you fucking cancelled it. Don't get in fuckwad! 16x: Farting and then blaming me, saying you will give me 1 star because it stinks. I used up my profanity quota in the above point, so instead will say that my rating is a million times more important than their pride. Especially when it's just the two of us. Do they think we don't know when we fart? 8x: Telling me that I am under-dressed. If I want to drive in my birthday suit in my own car, I WILL!
If you been taxi you would have seen all this and worse Yet you would have dealt with these matters in a way in which you can live with Like in my case growling at any smartarse yobs to behave themselves as we still had a fair way to go in the trip and lets do each other a favour kinda thing They tended to play up only if they were a drinking crew of three I only ever had to drag a punter out the once in my time Some old underworld mole very drunk who wanted to eat an embassy burger in cab Wasnt interested and helped them out of car to continue their hit the spot moment Came as a bit of a shock to them I am not sure how i would cope with the ratings game I might even goober to just find that out but the other stuff? If you done taxi... you already taken a good hard look in the mirror
